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female
30
virgo
M00NSHEE
M00NSHEE
"
pray for answers. !!
!!
Journal
2024/02/18

I just want a true love and true loving you, even if it brings me pain, give me what I want...I just wanna real love and real loving you...I just want to keep loving you dead or alive.

2024/02/16

I'm feeling a crazy burnout in my work and yeah, it's affected me kind of emotionally. I know I just need a break from school, so I'm thinking of taking one term off to just relax and do me. It would be nice to just be happy in my own element rn rather than rushing the work and not fully being present. I'm trying not to get distracted, as of rn? I'm just trying to be happier more and most importantly balanced. I miss some friends, but they'll never catch me begging for their time again. It's nothing on them, but I see myself getting attached way more than I'd like to admit so I think seperating myself from the 'constant consistency' could help me feel better without all that yearning shit.

2024/02/10:

I'm learning a lot. I feel that I am slowly getting better at stuff. I know this because when I notice others that are 'off the rails', I just shrug it off and do my own thing. The only person I am in control of is myself and we're vibing. Yeah, January is a sham but it's expected at this point. It doesn't really matter. Because the next month and after will always be better. I do need to improve in quite a few things though, such as communicating when it feels difficult to breathe in the space. I'm learning to be my authentic self at this point. What's the use in hiding anyways? That's never been me, but lately, I've noticed it. The running away from problems - mind you - it never works. Lol. Again, I'm learning to get better. There is always room for improvement. There were a few relationships that aren't meant to be. To be completely honest about it all? I wish them well because I couldn't do you no harm.

2024/02/07: livin with anxiety but I'm gonna get better. One way or another.

2024/02/03: Rest in Peace to our friendship. It was nice knowing ya.

2024/02/01: Call me a phantom cause I ain't gonna be around for long.

2024/02/01: I wish you can communicate to me like an actual friend.

!!
poems
- - -

These dark days.
when only the darkness raises itself to relinquish all light.
It prolongs its claws all over me.
It's an attempt to scratch and consume me.
It's powerful in the way the tongue speaks.
And evermore when it attempts to lure me astray.
It's strong, however . . .
I do not let it erase me.
I do not let it erase me.
I DO NOT LET IT ERASE ME.
I'm stubborn and resilient.
It'll take more for the darkness to vanquish me completely.
I am the bane.
An enemy to the darkness.
for all eternity.
- - -

Let it die, let it die,
just let me keep this favorite root of mine.
A piece of fragment dime.
A piece of soul divine.
A piece of remnants time.
. . . Just let me keep this favorite root of mine.
!!
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